„Well, I’d love to do what I really want to do, but I can’t do that. I have obligations, I have to take care of my duties in the company, my family, our house and all that stuff. That doesn’t happen by itself,“ says David, topmanager and father.
„If I only think about the fact that it will be school holidays soon and that my cleaning lady is going on vacation, I get mad. Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed,“ agrees his colleague in leadership and mother of three.
As a coach, I sit in front of these intelligent, successful people standing in life and think to myself:
THIS CAN’T BE REAL!
How many people out there tell each other all day that life is just that, that they have to function, that it’s not about them at first, but about others?
How can it be that you are now sitting in the same hamster wheel as your parents and grandparents once were, in spite of earlier good intentions? What is the point of this running and tormenting? Where is your freedom?
What we are looking for is joy, lightness, inner peace and flow.
What we live is fear, pressure, doubt and stress.
I can understand that well. As a 2-time mother and entrepreneur, divorced and enormously success-oriented, I was not only once shortly before or already in burnout. Our brain is adept at finding excuses and justifying why we need to grit our teeth right now. I also fall into the workhorse trap again and again, although I love my job more than anything else. It is a constant process to examine the current demands on oneself and the expectations of life and to change old patterns. Not to forget your attitudes, ideas and doubts regarding yourself or other people.
My motto is: „If it’s easy, it’s right“.
Translated this means: If you know what you want and trust life instead of controlling everything, things will come to you. Easy living does not mean doing nothing. The trick is to „do“ something only when it’s easy for you. As soon as something creates bad feelings in you, you should not do it or at least not do it now. As humans we have the chance to create our existence every moment. Our success follows our thoughts. What you think today shapes your future, which is already past, at the moment of your arrival. Therefore, you always have only this one moment to consciously create how you want to be and live.
If you believe that only hard work bears fruit, you will of course have to work hard to reach your goal. Life is neither superstitious nor rewarded or punished. It gives you exactly what you expect. And there we have arrived at the greatest obstacles to ease: Your own, unfortunately often unconscious beliefs. „I must not make it easy for myself“, „If I don’t hold all the strings in my hand, everything will collapse“, „I must prove myself“, „Only the hard ones will come into the garden“, etc. Your beliefs rule your everyday life from the underground. Therefore it is a daily process of consciousness to recognize oneself.
Give yourself a break!
In Bavaria the Whitsun holidays ended today. During the holidays I took a week free of children. Of course I sat at my desk in the beginning and worked … until I discovered my problem. I always had my mobile phone in my hand. Telephoning, writing, posting, doing, planning, organizing, striving for the future! As long as the flow is there, you don’t notice it. You feel enthusiastic and full of energy. Appearances are deceptive. Even highly motivated you burn out sometime. It starts with everyone a little bit differently, e.g. with light moods, lack of concentration, lying awake longer, inner restlessness, mobile phone addiction, more stimulants, stomach, head or back pain.
You need more time to „hang out“.
My inner unrest alarmed me. I couldn’t be five minutes without a mobile phone or computer. The urge for task fulfillment became overwhelming. At the same time, ticking off activities did not feel good. For me a sign of being driven instead of conscious. Sooner or later this behaviour leads to burnout. So I packed my things, contacted an Italian surfer friend in Turin and got into my car a few hours later. On the first day I filled my social channels, full of energy. But the deeper I delved into the Italian lifestyle, the more I let go. In the end I only had my mobile phone with me to take pictures. Today I feel strengthened, incredibly calm and positive. My To Dos have shrunk by half and I start the day with a feasible workload.
Your advantages of „hanging out“:
- You see clearly again what counts for you.
- Your strength returns bit by bit.
- Homemade problems lose weight.
- Your „wanting“ in the form of „having“ changes to „being“.
- You can work on the causes of stress in yourself.
- You perceive more again.
#mentalhealth #motivation #burnout #management #leadership #personal development #humanressources